Thursday, December 27, 2007

What's the plan?

With the new year coming to a close, it's time to start thinking about resolutions and stuff. No, this isn't my 'resolutions' post. That's coming in a few days. This is about the plans we make and how they can really screw us up.

Example 1: A few weeks ago, I heard a cool guy speak about making your passion your profession. Good stuff. He had us turn to the people around us and asked us to share what we were doing 5 years ago...then 4, 3, 2 and down to 1 year ago to the day. His point was that things change and to throw out your plan. I'm definitely not where I thought I would be if you had asked me 5 years ago.

Example 2: I'm reading a book, "You on Top! Smart, sexy skills every woman needs to set the world on fire" by Kate White, Editor in Chief for Cosmo magazine. She talks about the traditional interview question, 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' She suggests to toss out your five-year plan (chapter 2). She says, 'There's a danger in being so locked into a life scheme that you miss an opportunity that's smack dab in the road in front of you or a new adventure beckons you from a mysterious side road off to the right or left.' She also goes on to say if, at the end of your 5 years, you haven't reached the goal, it can depress the hell out of you. Preach it sister!

I tossed out the idea of being married many years ago. Not that I don't want to be married someday...I'd love to, but I'm not so focused on it that I can't do other things. I'm getting ready to move to CA in a few months and leave my current job. This definitely wasn't in my original plan. If you had asked me a few years ago how long I'd be in my current job, I honestly would've said for 10-15 years. I loved what I was doing. My boss, however, started telling me 2 years ago that I shouldn't think about staying there; that I should view it as a stepping stone to another job. I thought he was crazy and was a little ticked off that he was telling me my plan wasn't right. This past June, we agreed to me committing to a non-committal 2 more years with the company. His addendum included 'unless something better comes along.' However, he was right and I'm moving on.

My five year plan in 2002 included checking into grad school to finish my master's degree and buying a house in Oklahoma. In Oct 2003, I moved to WI and it was one of the best things I've ever done. If I had followed my plan, even though work was miserable and I thought I wanted to stay in Oklahoma forever, I never would've experienced being laid off (that was an experience), finding a job that really fit me, my passion and skills, having to fend for myself in a town where I knew no one (which has included dealing with car stuff-ICK) and really, living life like I had never done it before.

I don't know that I'll ever make a long-term plan again. We can't control things that come at us and as Kate White said, if we're so focused on reaching that goal, we miss other opportunities that could take us anywhere, like Wisconsin or even California. Be more focused on the unexpected things that cross your path. :)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I read this. I've been struggling to write my own 5-year plan. Every time I sat down and thought about it, I just couldn't put it on paper. It didn't feel right.

It's difficult because I love having a plan and goals. But I don't think now is the right time to be locking these in.

tearsinmycoffee said...

F&F--Glad that this helped you. I'm such a planner, but just this year, I've encountered many 'let go of the plan' events that I'm starting to think it really is the plan to have...not to have one, that is.

One thing White writes in her book is that she keeps a 'crazy list' with things listed she'd like to do, maybe..eventually. She only puts things on the list with the idea that this does not mean they are set in stone.

I love that idea. Keep a list, but don't make a 'plan' of it. When the time comes, make a plan around an event on the list.

So...are you coming to Madison for New Year's Eve? You're more than welcome to join me!