Thursday, September 10, 2009

What Happened BEFORE We Met?

First off, I don't' know WHY I'm still wasting time evaluating what went wrong with me and the guy I was seeing. And yes, I'm wasting time. The more I think about it, the more I get pissed off at him and the whole situation. Then I start to tell myself that I'm just getting mad so I can get over it; that that may be the only way to really move think he's horrible. Reality is, he isn't...or at least he doesn't mean to be.

I saw "500 Days of Summer" the other day and I highly recommend it for everyone. I could totally see myself in both characters, though I really resonated with the male. One part shows him reviewing his relationship to try to see what was REALLY happening. As sad as it sounds, I did this the other night...all the way back to the first weekend when things got started.

  • I remembered picking up the vibe that he was interested at the dinner party he invited me to that first night.
  • I remembered meeting him for drinks the next night and not knowing whether or not it was a date.
  • I remembered him telling me he tried kissing me after the dinner party when he walked me to the car and I 'dissed' him. **In my defense, I had no idea he was going in for a kiss.**
  • I remembered him asking me over drinks that night if I was seeing someone. **I thought that was pretty forward and even told him so.**
  • I remembered us making out for a few hours that same night. **Which is not normal for me, but it felt right...he made the move and I let him.**
  • I remembered him telling me he doesn't usually ask women out...that he's pretty shy. **I never would have known from that night.**
  • Then I remembered he had just been in Seattle earlier in the week before the dinner party and drinks.
  • And then I remembered he mentioned, after we started seeing each other, that he had been in a relationship recently with a Seattle.

The pieces started coming together to this puzzle with the final piece being a question.
"What happened in Seattle that week before he met me?"

Yes, I think something happened between him and his ex while he was in Seattle. Maybe it was a 'one last time' thing or maybe she totally denied him. Either way...

I truly believe I was the REBOUND GIRL.

And this hurts...a lot. I don't know that he really cared about me if this is the case.

I'm not usually one to tell people to 'Get over it' as I believe this usually takes time and each person should be allowed to deal with it as needed in order to get over it. But, I truly think it's time for me to 'Get over it!' I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about it.

So, in honor of his birthday today...I'm done. To edit Gwen Steffani's words a bit, "I ain't no REBOUND GIRL!"

Wanted to also share one of my favorite scenes from the movie that shows "Expectations vs. Reality."