Sunday, June 29, 2008

Where am I again?

As I drove home from San Francisco last night, I had a hard time believing that I was really 'living' in California. I've never dreamt about making my way west, yet here I am. I've been here now for 2 months, but it doesn't feel like it's been that long or that I'm settling in. I think I've really been holding back on a lot of things due to the issue that the plan was to be in one place for 3 months and then move as my new roommate moved out to the area (which is now happening in a few weeks).

As much as I hate moving, I really can't wait for this to happen. I think it will allow me to FINALLY get settled in. I'm living out of my bedroom right now. I've barely used the kitchen because all of my stuff is still packed. The house I'm in, with 3 guys, is great, but it's just not my 'style.'

The new move will allow me to be much, much closer to things happening in San Francisco, which means building more meaningful relationships. First off, the culture I'm working in is mostly male. I usually prefer guys as friends over gals (less drama!), but I'm really needing some girl time. There are two ladies that I've connected with, but it's sometimes hard to get all of us together as schedules are crazy busy. With the new company I'm working with, my 'shit radar' is trying to tune in more with who is genuine and who isn't. A lot of people will try to 'friend' me only for the reason of who I work for. I don't need or want those type of friends.

Once I make the move, I can see myself branching out to getting involved in more community things. I checked out a church a few weeks ago and enjoyed it, kinda. I just don't want to plant somewhere until I'm settled into my home first. I definitely need to find some 'non-tech' related things as right now, my entire world is tech which means I'm feeling more and more OK with working all the time as I have nothing else to do right now. That's definitely not healthy and I need to break that habit.

All in all, I'm loving life and work. There are pieces missing that I hope will start to fall into place in the next 2 months or so. May need a little push from the blog world in holding me to getting out more once the move is complete. Think you can help with that? ;)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Hello? Remember me???

Yes, I'm back. It's been way too long and I know that I've been avoiding blogging because I've been avoiding issues at hand. That and I've been swamped with work! *This is actually something that isn't bothering me...more about that in a second.*

Because it's late, and I don't think I'm ready to jump into a 'deep thoughts' post, I'll give some tidbits to chew on:

  • The funk of the past few months is lifting. Crazy thought, but I really think it's due to someone not being in my life anymore. I feel bad saying that, but I think there was definitely some correlation between my funk and him as it all started happening shortly after we met and started working together. Honestly, I think I was trying to be something I wasn't and something he wanted all at the same time. Don't ask me why I was trying to be something he wanted. I look back now and shake my head in shame. He's a great guy...but not for me.

  • Holy crap--my birthday is next week. I'm not as excited about this as I usually am. I don't think it has to do with the 'getting older' factor, but more with the "I'm in a new place and don't know what I want to do for my birthday" thing. I have a list of people who want to get together and celebrate with me (which is awesome!) but trying to find the right thing that suits everyone as we're all spread out (at least an hour between me and the farthest people). Bowling? Dinner and drinks? Piano bar for sing along time? Giants game? Ohhh...decisions, decisions!

  • I'm ready to move again. Yes, I've only been here 6 weeks and the plan has been for me to move in August since I've been here, but I'm ready to do it now. I'm ready to really get settled in, to have my space, and to be closer to the city. I'm looking at places over the next week to see what works best for me and the girl moving out this way. Wish me luck!

  • The new job is so amazing! In so many ways, it's similar to the previous gig (working from home, mostly on my own, planning events, lots of email, etc.) but at the same's so much different. My opinions and ideas are actually valued. I've been given control of events (she decides when we do it.) and have been rocking out with getting sponsorships for the events we're planning right now. My title changed just 1.5 weeks after I started and there's talk of some major things within the next few months. It's funny, I don't know 'tech/web' stuff (and I've made that known to my boss), but because I love to strategize and plan, I'm being brought in on some major conversations. I feel more and more valued as a person and am being appreciated for my input, which is a complete 180 from the other job.

  • I got out today for a light jog (my left knee has been killing me, so I'm not pushing it). It was a beautiful day! I'd forgotten what it was like to be outside, with the sun and fresh air. It was great. I'm making plans to work out more and even bought 2 new bikinis the other day. I've dropped 3-4 dress sizes over the past 10 months to a year. Amazing! I feel so good about myself now and am excited to tone up.

All in all, life is great. So much better than where I was when I got here. Even though things didn't turn out the way I thought they were going to, I think this has been better than I could've imagined.

Looking forward to posting more frequently. ;)