Closed...

I'm super extroverted...almost to the point of being annoying, but I deal with it. However, there are times when I just shut down. At those times, I'm not the life of the party, the center of attention or wishing all eyes were on me. Yet, because of my 'normal' personality, people still look to me to fill those roles. Usually, there's nothing that's caused me to shut down, I just need a break, so when people ask 'what's wrong', there's no answer, which is not acceptable to the one who's asked. Then they continue to press as to what's wrong which in turn starts to tick me off a bit. Crazy how that all works.

It's weird...there are people who can ask me, "How are you doing" and I can tell they aren't really interested in knowing so I give them the "Good...things are busy" answer and then there are those close few who can ask the same question, "How are you doing" yet it sounds completely different. I can tell that they honestly care and want to know how I'm doing...even if it's not good. I can count these people on one hand. I like it that way.

I have noticed lately that I've been closing off areas of my life to friends. I'm not being completely open about what's going on. Why? Because they're not asking which in turn makes me think they don't really care. I read an interesting statement once that said, "My friend who knows me best asks 'what are you doing' not 'how are you doing' because she'll know the answer to the latter based on the answer to the first question." This makes sense to me. I want to know what my friends are doing. I think I know my friends well enough to have an idea of how they're doing based on what they're doing. I would hope my friends would know as much about me.

So next time you talk to someone you're close with, don't ask how they're doing...ask what they're doing. I'd bet you'd be surprised at how much you can answer the 'how are you doing' question on your own.