Is there a way to avoid being disappointed?

dis·ap·point·ed :defeated in expectation or hope

I don't think I'm disappointed often, but when it happens, it hits me hard. I'm such an optimist and often see the best possible in situations and people. Because of this, I really believe I set myself up to be disappointed. Think about it...if I didn't expect or hope for the best in something or someone, I wouldn't be disappointed, would I?

I hate being disappointed. There are times when I'm disappointed in myself, but I try to figure out why I'm disappointed in myself, what I could've done different and chalk it up to a learning experience.

There are also times when others disappoint me. Granted, those that usually disappoint me are ones that I know better...we'll call them 'friends.' Because there's a level of care and interest in these friends, I usually have expectations and hopes for them. When my friends disappoint me, it hurts bad...breaks my heart a bit. Why? Because I see the potential and goodness in these friends and to have them not live up to those hopes and expectations is hard. There tends to be a level of trust that is removed when something like this happens.

But wait...why should I be allowed to be disappointed in the hopes I set for someone? If someone were to put the expectation on my to wrestle an alligator, sad to say, I'd disappoint them as I'd probably never do that (there was a time when I lived in FL that I had a gator in my front yard...no joke!). So is it fair to be disappointed in others based on the hopes and expectations I've set for them? **Granted, that was a stretch on an 'expectation', but you get what I mean.**

Let's flip it a little...is it fair for me to be disappointed when a friend doesn't fulfill an expectation they set for themselves? If so, how disappointed? Does it make a difference that the friend set their own expectation and failed to complete it as opposed to me setting an expectation for them?

I wish I could just not become so invested in friends...not care so much about them and our friendship in order to remove a bit of the disappointment from my life. But that's not me. I have to figure out how much to speak up about my disappointment, how much to expect from my friends in response and how to heal and move on. However, the time during which I try to figure this out is never a happy time.