Here's how it went down--was out with a group of friends. A few of us went to the 'live band' dancing area to have some fun. I was at the front of our group.
All of a sudden, I feel someone grab my butt. I stopped for a second and figured someone had just walked by and grabbed, which ticked me off (more on this in a bit...) Continued to dance and a few minutes later, it happened again. I turned to the guy over my left shoulder and looked at him. The girl he was with told me it was my friends doing it...I looked at them and they all played dumb (I hate that!) so I looked back at the guy. I then looked at my friends and asked them if they did it and that they'd better fess up before I hit this guy. My friends finally admitted they did it. Honestly, this wouldn't usually set me off...but here's what happened earlier that day...I had to call for a rental car as my car was in the shop. I was already in a bad mood, had had to call three times about my ride from the rental place, etc. when finally, the car showed up to take me to the rental car location. The guy who came to pick me up was younger, just out of college. We talked for a bit and as it was a Saturday, moved to talking about College Football. Conversation was casual and whatnot....and then he reached over and playfully hit my leg. Whoa! I don't know this guy and he's invading my personal space. Back up! I was very uncomfortable as he went on to ask what I was doing that afternoon and where I was going to watch the game. I told him I was going to watch from home as I had work I'd be doing while I watched. He got the hint.
So, that probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but when I reflect on things that have happened in the past, invasion of my personal space, especially by someone I don't know, is a huge deal and I immediately am ready to do anything and everything I have to to get away from the situation, even if it means fighting. I remember a time in college when a good guy friend had me cornered in a room, trying to calm me down about something (I had been drinking). He was between me and the door and I ended up pushing him hard enough to make the door push through the frame, breaking it.
There are times when I'm upset about something that I can't be touched. Any body trying to calm me down is at risk of me doing whatever I have to to get out of the situation. I hate that. I know those people aren't trying to hurt me, but because of things that have happened in the past...when I have been hurt, it's completely screwed up my ability to let people care for me in a physical way when I'm scared or upset. Thankfully, I can verbalize during these times to 'please don't touch me.' Granted it doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, I need my space to calm down before I hurt someone.
It completely pisses me off that someone has taken this away from me and has damaged me. What right did they have? What right does anyone ever have to touch or say inappropriate things to someone they don't know? I hate when guys I've never met think I'm property and they can grab what they want and say what they want to me. They have absolutely no right...yet they think they have every right in the freaking world. And the sadder part to this is that some women think this is OK and are perfectly fine with it. I just don't get it...I really don't.
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