Preparing for the worst

I had an amazing second interview last Monday for a job I'm really interested in. Things went very well and on Tuesday, they contacted my references, which included my current supervisor. I know of 2 great references that were sent in (I've read the one from my boss--truly amazing!) I called on Friday after lunch and left a message with HR asking for an update and if they needed anything else. I haven't heard anything.

I'm starting to wonder if I've misread actions and words. I know I've already accepted the job in my head and I haven't even been offered the job yet in reality. That's a dangerous place to be. Everyone who I've talked to about this keep saying things like, "this sounds great!" and "it sounds like they're for sure going to hire you." Everyone except for one person...my pastor. He's a close friend whom has seen me at times I'm not so proud of and is still my friend. He's one person that can look at me, knows something's wrong and I lose it.

I met with him on Wednesday this past week. He was excited for me, but then said, "Don't get your hopes up just yet. It's not a for sure deal." As hard as it is to hear this, I do need to be reminded about it. I know he's looking out for me and doesn't mean to hurt or discourage me. He only says things like that to ground me and bring me back to reality.


So often, I feel like people tell me what I want to hear instead of maybe what I need to hear. I'm an encourager by nature and always want to help people feel better, but will try to help them see the other side of issues, which ultimately helps them to understand their side a bit better. It's so hard to do this sometimes, for fear of ruining a friendship. At the same time, I would hope it would actually strengthen the friendship.

With this being said, I'm starting to prepare for the worst with the job thing, meaning I'm not going to get it. I can easily become happy about it, but accepting the fact that I was not offered the position will be hard if I think I already have it. Feelings of rejection, failure and fear will cover me. I would much rather prepare for that then the good feelings that would come with being offered the job.

I hope to know soon...either way it will be a relief.