My heart breaks

I found out today that a friend of mine has been struggling with some major things in his life. Probably doesn't sound like that big a deal, right? Add to that the fact that he is a major leader in a church, was unfaithful to his wife and because of his problem, he has resigned from his position. Now is it a big deal?

My heart breaks to think of the pain and hurt this is causing; not only for him and his wife, but also for others. The people who were deceived by his secret. The people who hired him in to his position at the church. The church has handled this quickly, and in my honest opinion, as best as they could. They sent letters to the members of the church alerting them of the situation. One letter was from the Senior Pastor and the other letter was from my friend. You can truly understand the hurt, pain, embarassment and shame when reading both letters.

The pastor will be addressing the situation after each service on Sunday. My church has a large congregation...a lot of people who come, but aren't really involved and don't know the leaders of the church on a more personal level. One of my prayers through this whole situation is for those that don't really know my friend. His dirty little secret is about to be exposed to hundreds and hundreds of people who have no idea how good of a guy he really is. I pray that they can accept him in love instead of through judgement. I'm guilty of looking at others and wondering who they think they are and how bad they are. For instance, O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. Actually, I think they both need help, but still judge them for things I don't know as fact. Do you see my point here?

A little more insight for you in order to express my next thought...the situation deals with pornography. This is such a taboo topic in the Church (notice the big C), yet is very common. Why is this not being addressed? I really pray that my church will recognize the need for a program or help or something for this problem. I'm being very careful not to narrow it down to just men who struggle with this, because I know this problem is larger then gender lines.

I'm extremely glad to hear his wife is standing by him through this. As a child of divorce due to an affair, I've seen the hurt that comes from it. Even though my parents divorced almost 24 years ago, my mom still hurts because of it. She has never fully healed. I hope that my friend's wife will be able to heal from the hurt of this situation. I also pray that the church will have resources available for spouses of those who have the same problem. Notice again I'm not limiting this to the wives as I'm sure there are husbands who are hurt from their wives struggles.

My heart breaks. Not only for my friend, his wife, and this situation, but also for the sin in my own life. More about that in the next post...