Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Gut feelings...not just an upset tummy

I've always been a person to look at a bad situation as a learning experience. "What did I learn about myself from this," I often ask myself. Recently, I've made an attempt at dating...whatever that looks like. I've let myself have fun, opened my heart to the possibility of someone and have even been hurt. All of that, good and bad, is helping me figure out what I want and what's important to ME.

Just reading those words makes me feel selfish. I'm such a giver that I forget that what I want is just as important and shouldn't be ignored.

So I ask myself the question, "What do I want?"
  • Someone who truly cares about me
  • That I know they care about me and never have to question
  • Someone who initiates--text, conversations, plans, nookie, gifts, whatever! *This goes back to me being a giver. I'm often the first one to initiate.
  • Someone who is spontaneous. Sometimes the spirit moves me to do something and it shouldn't be ignored.
  • Someone who can hold his own at events and parties. Events are my job and I need support, but I can't have someone who is by my side the entire night. I've got a room to work and he should do the same.
  • Someone who is just as comfortable getting dressed up for a night out, rocking out all night for karaoke or staying home to cuddle on the couch with a movie.
  • Someone who will cook for/with me.
  • Someone who will communicate with me. In this age of the interwebz and gadgets, there's no reason for not communicating, unless you just can't express yourself and be open. That's not for me.
  • Someone who will always date me...meaning take me out on dates. Even when we're old, I still want to be wined and dined.
  • Someone who loves his job and career. This is something that is very important to me and other people who share the same passion get this.
  • Someone who other women flirt with and he'll flirt back. Wait, wait...don't get the wrong idea here. By other women flirting with him, it means he's attractive and I did done good! And him flirting back...he can look, but he can't touch! ;)
  • Someone who can put me in my place...gently and lovingly...when I need it. I'm not always a bowl of fun. I know this. I want someone who cares enough to tell me when I need to chill.
  • Bring on the witty banter. That might as well be listed as foreplay for me.
  • Someone I can be 'me' all my quirkiness.
  • Someone who will take care of me...and that I can let take care of me.
I think this is a pretty honest list from me, though a conversation last night with The Okie may have some influence here. Then again...maybe he hasn't since I don't know if he's this complete list. Not that it means he can't become this list if things move forward. Granted, he may have a similar list including things that I'm not aware of but we can always share these lists of 'What do I want' with each other.

This post didn't start in my head as a list of things I want, but I'm glad I've listed that. My girlfriends have asked me this question time and time again over the past few months and it's good to make this list for reference. This way I KNOW what it is that I want and what's important to me.

I don't want to go into may details about the conversation with The Okie last night, but I will say that we're both on the same page about each other. We don't want to mess our friendship up, but are interested in each other. We both have areas we need to work on in order to make "us" a possibility. We need to talk more about whether or not we're ready to do that. The weird/funny/exciting/scary thing is that I trust him.

Not only are my head and my heart in agreement (which I don't take lightly), but my gut is telling me it's OK as well. The trifecta of YES is a bit much to ignore...don't you think?

1 comment:

austinats said...

Interesting and Progress. Now, throw it all away and pass "go"