Freedom from the Grip of Fear

Week 6 I accept the fact of fear, allow myself to feel my fear fully, and act so that fear does not interfere with my life choices.

The kind of fear is the one we sometime feel with reason. As the book, "Everyday Commitments" puts it, "Our guesses and fantasies about what might happen keep us afraid of events and experiences that may never befall us." Over the past few months, I've had a chance to really throw caution to the wind in my decision to move to CA for this new job.

Just last night, I saw someone I haven't seen in a few months. She's more of an acquaintance than a friend. She asked if I was still moving to CA and I said yes and she said, I'm so afraid for you. What's that mean? First off, why would you be afraid for someone else if they're not? Second, as I asked her if there was an option in her life if she wasn't accepted to PA school, she said no. That was the only option. This is so not me. She has her sights set on one goal and nothing else. Hate to say it, but this is her third year of applying to PA school. It may be time to think about something else. =)

As I'm talking to more and more people about my move, the most common response is, 'Wow--it's expensive in CA. Are you making good money?' Ummm....what I'm making is no one's business AND do they think I'm dumber than a doornail and haven't checked these things out? Truth be told--I don't know exactly what I'll be making yet, but that's not stopping me from moving forward with the decision to do this. I'm not letting the fear of how much I'll make interfere with my life choice to do this.

The book offers advice to use the "Triple A" practice of Admit, Allow and Act. Check it out:

• Admit Admit to yourself and someone you trust that you're scared, rather than calling it something else, like cold feet, worry, uneasiness, etc.


• Allow Allow yourself to feel the fear. This is often the hardest part. Don't find ways to avoid it--drinking, drugs, distractions, etc.--fully allow yourself to feel it. Use that person you admitted your fear to to help with this.


• Act Act in such a way that the fear does not drive you to do something or stop you from doing anything. Think of all the missed opportunities in life because you've let fear keep you from doing it.

Fear thrives on powerlessness, the belief that we have no options. WOW! That's a mighty statement, but absolutely true when you think about it. Don't give in to the power of fear. Stand up to it. Realize it. Admit, Allow and Act. The chapter closes with these words of wisdom: In doing so, we are less likely to be devastated by fear and it gradually becomes so ordinary that it loses its capacity to throw us off course.