"If we keep hanging out like this, people will say we're dating."

He said this to me almost a year ago. We hadn't really hung out just the two of us, but we were leaving a function together (I came with someone else) and we made plans that evening to spend two entire days watching basketball together later that week (I'm a sucker for March Madness). We had great conversation about dating (in general, though there were some hidden agendas), life, career and what our dream life might look like (individually, not as a couple!) I overheard him say to a friend that he loved how much I got into college basketball. The following weekend, he even gave me his apartment key to go watch the games at his place, even though he had a seminar he had to attend. **He has a sweet HDTV!**

Anyways, I haven't seen him in months as he's been busy and I've been busy. He called a few months ago to see if I was around so he could return a DVD. We talked for a while, catching up, but missed connections for the return of the DVD. The connection may be made tomorrow.

I saw him tonight as our group of friends got together for dinner and a dance function. I knew he was coming and was excited to see him. We ended up sitting across from each other, catching up and then decided to car pool to the dance. I had just told him about a new CD I got and had in my car, so we listened to it on the way. We had really good, honest, deep conversation in the car about things going on, which was awesome. It was very comfortable to fall into real conversation with him, even though it's been a good 4 months since we've seen each other.

We had a great time at the dance and I was flattered when he grabbed my hands to swing dance. I'm not a big fan of swing and with something that fast, it's hard for me to follow. He was doing a great job, but me with my passion for dance, I try to lead, which doesn't make for a great dance partner. Besides, swing...not my favorite, but it was fun. I laughed the whole time as he was doing fancy turns with me and dips. Fun...very fun.

This guy is great...funny, cute (but not the 'type' I usually like), smart (ummm...he's a freaking surgeon!), thoughtful (he's borrowing my CD tonight, bringing it to me tomorrow and burning one for me that I don't have) and all around great guy. However, he has two strikes against him:
1. I interviewed for a position I *really* wanted about this time last year that was at the hospital working with Surgery Residents, but not his program. Because of his connection, I asked him lots of questions. I really had my hopes set on this position. He gave me some positive encouragement, but when I found out I didn't get it, there was nothing from him. This hurt...he told me that he didn't know what to say and knew that I really wanted it, but the whole time didn't think I'd enjoy it at all, yet didn't say anything to me. His reasoning was that he didn't want to sway my decision in the whole thing and if it was meant to be, I'd be offered the job and accept it and who knows what might have happened. **Honesty is a HUGE trait that I value. Yes, it may not have been easy to tell me that, but at least it would've been honest. I trusted this guy and would've taken into consideration what he was telling me, but would've made my own decision. I was more hurt that he didn't say something than if he had.**

2. He has the 'ideal' and 'perfect' thought for a wife and I'm obviously not it. This guy doesn't date and I'd bet money that the next girl he dates will be the one he marries. Sad that we connect on many levels, but in all honesty, I don't think I could marry him. He's a little too laid back for me. I want someone who will get fired up about things, whether I've pissed them off or if it's just something he's passionate about. This guy...loves what he does (we've talked about this many times) but he's just doesn't outwardly get super pumped about it the way I do about things. I need someone who can spur on my passion and get me excited about things as much as I do for him.

So...it was a great night. We'll have conversations about music, life, career and faith, I'm sure. We may even dance again. For once, it feels really good to know that this won't go anywhere before it even starts and to be OK with that.