Forgiven, but not trusted?

I don't think it's possible to truly forgive someone without being able to trust them again. What do you think? Doesn't the trust piece compliment and complete the forgiveness? Think about it...you get busted for throwing a party while your parents are out of town. They say they forgive you, but won't leave you home alone again for a weekend. Do they really forgive you if they can't trust you being home alone again?

What happens if you don't think you can trust the person again? Do you ever forgive them? Wow--deep thought and issue from my past coming up here--my mom has never forgiven my dad for cheating on her. She filed for divorce quickly after finding out and bad mouthed him for many, many years and still does every now and then. I'm just old enough to stand up to her now and tell her to stop. In my opinion, she knew she wouldn't be able to trust him again, thus has never forgiven him and still resents it.

I think of another couple that are good friends who have been married for many years. He had an affair and an addiction to porn, yet she's stood by him. They don't have kids, so why would she? (which, btw, I hate the excuse of 'we'll stick it out for the kids.' it's almost always a bad stand alone reason!) Because she knew him...she knew she could trust him again and could forgive him. He lost his job and many, many friends because of this getting out. I know she's hurt by what's happened, but I think she's even stronger for sticking with him, for being there for him, for working it out and for forgiving him.

Yes, we're hurt sometimes and so it's hard to trust again. Don't ever feel like or think you have to say you forgive someone if you really don't. This isn't something that has a time limit on it. It took me a year and a half to forgive myself for something...and that was me forgiving myself...not someone else. During times of hurt and lack of trust, communication is best. Tell them it's hard for you to forgive and trust them again right away, but be willing to work on it.

An interesting story on forgiveness and trust, which actually inspired this post. Enjoy:
Loving actions can do much more than change your feelings; they can also communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness and your commitment to reconciliation. Thomas Edison apparently understood this principle. When he and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took hundreds of hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day, after finishing a bulb, he handed it to a young errand boy and asked him to take it upstairs to the testing room. As the boy turned and started up the stairs, he stumbled and fell, and the bulb shattered on the steps. Instead of rebuking the boy, Edison reassured him and then turned to his staff and told them to start working on another bulb. When it was completed several days later, Edison demonstrated the reality of his forgiveness in the most powerful way possible. He walked over to the same boy, handed him the bulb, and said, "Please take this up to the testing room." Imagine how that boy must have felt. He knew that he didn't deserve to be trusted with this responsibility again. Yet, here it was, being offered to him as though nothing had happened. Nothing could have restored this boy to the team more clearly, more quickly, or more fully.