Working relationship has been extremely strained the past few weeks, mostly because of me. Wait, I'll be honest, it's almost all because of me. *n--i'm sure you're floored by this admission, though not surprised.* Every time we're working together, my bad attitude sneaks up and rears it's ugly head. When it happens, I'm often embarrassed and can't pinpoint what the hell just happened to set it off. This frustrates me to no end.
I have every reason to be excited about this. It's an amazing opportunity and I'm meeting phenomenal people who are excited about what they're doing. So often lately, I feel like I'm having to fake my enthusiasm and I shouldn't have to. It's there, i just need to find it and let it run wild, the way it used to a few months ago before I was in CA.
I'm pissed off that I'm acting this way. I'm scared that I've 'lost that feeling' and won't be able to find it again. I'm embarrassed that I allow it to come out so often. I'm confused as to why this has gotten so hard. I'm sad that the excitement isn't there the way it used to be.
I don't' know what to do. Wait, I think I know what I should do...throw myself completely into the job for a bit. Now's as good a time as any as I have very few distractions (*translation--I don't know many people in the area yet who would interfere with work) and there's definitely lots to keep me busy. We've got great events on the schedule and amazing people to work with...I just need to do it.Word of encouragement are greatly appreciated at this point as I need all the cheerleading I can get. =\
4 comments:
Both: V for Victory! I said V Â for Victory!
Craig: Spread that V!
Arianna: Dot that I !
Both: Rock that C-T-O-R-Y! Whoo Spartan Spirit!!
7 years ago I was in your shoes. Moved to a brand new (but far less exciting) city. For a job that I had little information about, really.
Almost packed up and went home a dozen times in the first 3 months. But decided to suck it up and turn the job into mine. Face the challenge and not run from it.
It was the best thing I ever did. The best growth experience and I have the best job ever!
Ten years ago (or at least it will be officially 10 years ago next month), I moved across the country. I was jobless, friendless and homeless at the time of the move. It took a while to get into the swing of things...I think about six months, but once it did, things were much better.
Moving is tough - even if you already have a job in place. Moving solo is even more difficult. Give yourself a little time. Find some fun things to do. Go out and meet new people. Don't lose yourself completely in work just because you can right now.
I think that once you've settle in and feel better about yourself, things at work will pick up.
@betty--I agree with the thought of making the job mine, and this is something that I'm having to wait on, for a while, until I learn how my partner likes to do things. It's a learning curve, which I don't enjoy, but understand that it's necessary. Would love to hear more about your experience from 7 years ago and how you made the job yours. What type of job? P.S. Hip Hop soon?
@LA Blogger Gal--Where have you been? Thanks for the encouragement. My last move was to a place where I knew no one and as hard as it was, it was exciting and really got me out of my comfort zone. I at least know a few people here and am meeting more. I've even joined a few groups to meet people. Fun times! Also--great suggestion to not lose myself in work, just because I can. I have a habit of doing that and lose focus on the fun things in life. =)
@hkagan--ha! Thanks for the encouragement. It can only get better, right?
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