The weirdest thing happened last night. I woke up, in the middle of the night, and I was crying. Not like one tear slowly making it's way down my face, but real tears streaming out of both eyes...while I was asleep.I'm not usually a super-emotional person. Yes, I almost always tear up when McDreamy is in deep conversation with Meredith (anyone else lose it during the 'Pick me, choose me...love me' scene?), but in real life, most of the time, I can keep my composure.
I'm thinking of what makes me cry when I'm awake in order to try to figure out what I was crying about in my sleep (because of course, I can't remember!). Hmmmm....when someone I really care about is hurt, physically or emotionally, that usually does it. When I'm witnessing two friends who love each other truly and deeply getting married, I tear up and my heart swells because I'm so happy for them. When I'm exhausted and can't go anymore, the tears usually come, mostly because I feel the need to continue to push myself and can't physically do it anymore, which frustrates me.
Yes, this weekend was jam packed and I was ready to hit the sack once I got home last night because I've been going non-stop since 6am on Saturday, but I was asleep which would cancel out the exhaustion factor, wouldn't it? I haven't been to a wedding since this summer, though it was one I cried at as the couple is amazing! By process or elimination, this leaves the empathy option.
I did have a conversation with one of the girls I advise last night that may be bringing this all up. She's my favorite and was very upset last night at the thought that she wasn't doing a good job (which is ridiculous as she's the best President they've had in a long time!) Since I have another few weeks of blogging, I'll save those thoughts for later, but it makes me wonder if this brought on my tears last night.
I really wish I could remember what brought on the crying last night. I have some other thoughts of what it may be, but will wait to see if something jogs my memory.
3 comments:
This happens to me. Usually, its a dream where one of my parents die or is sick. Sometimes, these dreams are so real that I have to call them first thing in the morning. Other dreams, it's something my boyfriend did in my dream and I am honestly mad at him the next day. Yeah. It's really fair to him.
It's a haunting feeling I have the next day. The worst is when you wake up upset in the middle of it and fall asleep right back into it all.
I've had that happen too, although it's always been after an "ex-boyfriend that your not completely over beeing seen with another woman" dream. Or a "your just not good enough" dream. Either way, it's exhausting and disconcerting. And you really need a hug the next morning. I hope things are going better this morning.
Maybe you should try and meditate/pray/sit on it? Whichever you like :) That normally works for me and once my brain is quite the thought pops into my head and I can face it? Just a thought?
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