The news of a good friend's baby boy coming into the world is cause for celebration...and this post! Congrats, friends! Your baby boy is beautiful. ;)Warning::Keep in mind the theme to this post is 'babies' as the entire thing doesn't really all tie in together. However, the best part is at the end, so keep reading...you've been warned!
I'm an only child, with the exception of a step-brother whom I barely know. I never asked my mom why she only had one and a few months ago, I think I figured out why. When the thought occurred to me, it made perfect sense and hit me hard. My mom and Aunt were abused by their brother when they were younger. This has caused many, many issues in my mom's life, even to the point that my mom and aunt don't have contact with my uncle. I haven't seen him since I was in grade school. I think my mom only had me in order to protect me from potentially going through what she went through. Knowing what I know about her childhood, I'm almost 95% sure this is the reason I'm an only child.
Girls always talk about having babies and being mothers, at least most of the girls I know. It's what we do when we're little...playing mommy and taking care of baby dolls. It's funny how a lot of times the discussions focus on having babies as opposed to getting married. How's that go...first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage. I guess for a lot of women, that's the ultimate goal in life.
However, I wonder if my 'clock' is broken as I'm not sure I want kids. I have to admit, a few years ago, as I sat in my 2 bedroom apartment by myself, I seriously considered checking into adoption. I was 28, had the room...I could take care of a baby, right? Then I woke up and said, 'What the hell am I thinking? I can't adopt a child right now!' Seriously, the dream of becoming a mother was there for maybe 5 minutes.
I did have an interesting conversation with a guy a few years ago that I had an interest in. I knew his mom very well and even though he and I had just met, we hit it off right away. We had already spent a lot of time together for 3 days in a row. Similar interests in music (he knew some of the random and obscure artists I liked), very witty (which is ALWAYS attractive to me!), smart (can you say Ivy League for undergrad and now in Law School) and super cute (dark hair, great smile! Mmmmmm...)
So, here I am, chatting with this guy who I think is near perfect, when he throws out the question, "So, how long do you want to wait before having kids?" **Hold on...we were in a group with 4 other women and he was the only guy.** I wait to answer to see what everyone else says and then answer, "3-5 years...I want to spend time with my husband first before we have babies." He said that's what he was thinking. *swoon!* I then asked him, 'Do guys really think about having kids?' to which he responded, 'Yeah!' So I asked him 'Why?' and then he answered, 'Think about it...a baby is part of you and part of another person, mixed together. I want to be able to look at my child and see part of myself and my wife, the person I love the most, in this new life.' OH MY GOSH!!!! I was ready to make a baby with him right there! That was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever heard in my entire life. I had never thought of a baby that way. Yes, I knew that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby, thanks to 5th grade Sex Ed, but had never really thought about the non-scientific make-up. Wowza!
Honestly, I don't know that I want kids. I think part of that has to do with feeling I have to find 'the one' first. Once he and I get to practice for a few years, maybe the clock will start ticking. ;)
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