Do you ever wonder?

I've been wondering lately about how my life would be different if I was still living in Oklahoma or hadn't been laid off from the job that brought me North or if I was married. What if I had studied something different in college? What if I had stayed in the job where I was passed up for a promotion? I don't do this often as I feel it wastes time thinking about coulda, shoulda, woulda when you can't do anything about the past.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even if you aren't immediately aware of what that reason is. There are things that have happened in the past that have changed my life and I really don't have an answer to the question 'why did this happen'? I don't know that I ever will, but I've accepted it and know that I've learned so much about myself and others because of it.

So focusing on the past is a waste of time, but why not focus on the future? I feel like this is an area where I box myself in at times. I accept what I do now and don't dream big anymore about what could happen in the future. This drives me crazy! I'm a woman who goes after what she wants, yet don't have something to go after. I'm a woman who's very driven in what I do, yet don't know where that drive is taking me. I'm a woman who has huge visions for a variety of projects (work, sorority stuff, etc.), yet can't see past tomorrow in my personal life.

I feel like this is a rut I'm in, for whatever reason and am sure that I'll get over it soon. In the meantime, I'm trying to evaluate what I can learn during this time, which cuts down on the hindsight reflection later on. Life has been so boring lately and I've got to figure out how to shake things up a bit. Any ideas from the peanut gallery? What do you do when life gets boring??? Help a sister out, will ya?