Is this really my life?

Last night, multiple times, I was struck with the thought, "Is this really my life? How'd I get here??" Wait, wait...seeing as you can't interpret tone via blogpost, let me explain, this is a GOOD question being asked. :D I'm realizing more and more how awesome the people are I've met since moving to CA a few months ago. For instance:

• The food and wine critic who is helping me coordinate a day of wine tastings for my friends on the super cheap. She's hooked me up with AWESOME info and even a VIP tasting at one of the wineries.


• The people who are opposed to Prop 8; gay, straight, and everything in between. Lots of people are passionate about this and it's inspiring!


• People who have such influence that when they share a link of something they found interesting on the internet, that site crashes due to how many people immediately go check it out. WHOA!


• People I can be absolutely honest with about crap going on in life and can give it to me straight...tell me if I'm being whiney or help me see another side!


• A multitude of people who are passionate about life and what they're doing.

I really am loving life today and am looking forward to brunch, fun, sun and good times. Hope you have a great day as well. What are you looking forward to today?

My mom must've known

I usually call my mom on Sundays but didn't want to this week, so I didn't. Why didn't I want to talk to her? Because I'd have to tell her that I was back into job searching and am not sure what to do.

She called tonight...she must've known.

I answered and decided I had to tell her. I'm still working, but the pay has been cut significantly, meaning I'll have to find something else to help pay the bills. She seemed OK about it and I know she wants what's best for me. I often feel like I have to put on a 'brave face' for her, at the same time, she's the one I can call and cry my heart out when my world has fallen apart and I don't know what to do about it.

I love my mom, but we have such a weird relationship. I should really try harder with her, to make sure she knows I love her and think about her.

I love you mom.

This is my FIRST post for today

Pay no attention to what the time stamps says, this is my first post today. The previous post was before midnight PST, but my Blogger settings showed I was in CST. BOOO!

So yes, I voted. It took less time to vote than t did to walk to the polling place 2 blocks away. Was a little ticked that they didn't ask for identification when I checked in. I could've been anyone. Disturbing, really.

Everyone's talking about how there are more people voting in this election than ever before. This is a big day! After I voted, I got home to find out that a friend had been 'outted' by a 'friend' on a public social network that he was voting for McCain. He made mention of it at lunch and this 'friend' decided to publicly post who he was voting for. Wouldn't have been a huge deal (besides the fact that it wasn't the 'friends' right to share that info with the world), but come to find out that my friend was getting threatening emails because of who he voted for. What?!?! He says he's had over 70 negative/threatening interactions because of who he voted for. (We work within the social networking community, so everyone knows everything about what's going on!)

This really makes me sad and mad all at the same time. Yes, each party wants THEIR candidate to win, but really...threatening someone because of who they voted for? Way out of line. We're adults people and should act like it. Is that so hard?

Bottom line is it doesn't matter who you voted for, as long as you voted! I really hope that no matter who is our President elect tomorrow morning that there is no violence. For once, we need to come together as a country and be united. Seriously!

Daylight savings time screwed me over!

I looked at my post from yesterday and it's stamped as today. No, no, no...it was completed by midnight PST on Sunday. I think maybe my time zone is still listed as central which may be the problem. Anyways...I did post yesterday.

Today's been a weird day. I'm in the process of a job hunt, kinda, as my current job just put me to commission only due to the economy. I'm fine with staying on and doing work with them as it's a great opportunity, but I've got to make some real money too. There are a few good leads of companies that rock with positions that could be fun, but I haven't updated the resume yet. Need to do that as most of these places ask for one. I even got word that the company of my dreams has a position open that I'd love to do. It's a small step back from what I'm doing now but I'm sure it could grow into something freakishly amazing. This company is AWESOMESAUCE to the max and I interact with it everyday. I plan to update that resume first thing in the morning and kick it on over, probably before I even vote!

Which leads me to the big election tomorrow. I am very excited about what's to come. I'll say it, I think and hope Obama wins, partially because I think Palin is a horrible option for VP. Obama has a spark to him. He's very charismatic, unlike McCain, and I think he'll do some good for the country. I've heard friends say things like, "Obama makes me proud to be an American again." That's good stuff. Is Obama the right person for office? Not totally, but I think he's the best option on the ballot.

I really hope people take the time to vote tomorrow. I often feel like "Who am I...just one person. Is my vote really going to matter?" and then I'm reminded that just over 500 votes (or something like that) last year won Bush the presidency. That's a small margin.

Whoever comes into office, my greater hope is that the country will support them 100%. I can't stand people who for 4 (or 8) years say "Well, I didn't vote for 'em." This is the President of the United States we're talking about, people. He's our leader...trying to do what's right for the millions of us who call this place home. Realize too, he doesn't make the decisions alone and has a team of advisors. So anytime he makes a decision that you don't approve of, remember that he's not a lone ranger.

So just do it. Vote. And educate yourself on the local politics as those should matter even more as they affect you more. :) Yes we can!

"If I saw myself the way other people see me..."

"...I wouldn't be nearly so self-conscious and insecure."

These are words put out into the universe from a friend. As I read them I thought, 'Wow--I most definitely could have said this same thing.'

Being an over-achiever and a perfectionist is possibly the worst combination ever. To me, nothing is ever perfect and there's always room for improvement. When people tell me how great a job I'm doing, I immediately think they're just blowing smoke up my butt and don't believe them. I have raving recommendations from people, but that doesn't boost my confidence that I'm doing a good job.

Why am I so skeptical of my work? Why do I not believe what others tell me? Do I really think that every person who tells me 'good job' is lying to me? I know I don't tell people 'good job' when I don't think they did a good job and usually offer some suggestions/feedback on how to improve. If they rocked the world, I definitely tell them and make it genuine.

I've done some thinking this weekend and am trying to believe what people are saying about me (well, at least the good things!) I'm going to have to over the next few months in order to survive as the economy is making an impact in my life.

So, to get the ball rolling, let me list a few truths about myself that I DO believe:
* I'm passionate about what I do
* I make sure details are taken care of
* Hospitality is my forte. I love making people feel welcomed!
* I'm creative and can problem solve with the best of 'em
* I would rather put others needs before mine

What do people tell you about yourself that you don't believe? Why do you find it hard to believe?

Do you know what Nov 1 means?

NaBloPoMo starts today (thanks for the reminder FreeAndFlawed). What does that mean? 30 posts in 30 days. I'm actually excited about this as I really have things I need to take time to think about and blogging is my way of doing that. (I seriously sound like a broken record and say this ALL. THE. TIME!)

I've been thinking a lot lately about making this blog known. Only a handful of my friends know about it. So few I could count on one hand. However, I think there's something to be said about being transparent with those in my life. On the other hand, I don't know that I want everyone and their dog knowing what's going on, which makes it nice that people who know me don't know about it. Such a debate. Any thoughts on this from anyone??? I've thought about starting a public blog, just to keep private and public separate.

I anticipate the next 30 days of blogging to help me see my strengths, especially in work, as well as the areas I need to work on and making strides in becoming a better person. If you're participating in NaBloPoMo, what are your goals over the next 30 days?