Identity crisis

Today's been weird. Wait, the past 2 months have been weird. I haven't felt like myself. However, I haven't really taken time to focus on what the issues have been because life has been moving at lightning speed. I've been focused on other things...other people... But now that things are getting back to normal, meaning one job, not thinking about moving (well, I am moving again in 3 months, but within the same city), etc., I'm hoping the 'normal' me will come back.

I had dinner with my dad and step-mom tonight. We don't really have a relationship. I haven't seen either of them in 2 years and barely talk to either of them. As I sat across from my dad at dinner, I realized how different we are. This made me wonder how similar I am to my mom. I'm not. Which lead me to the point of an identity crisis.

I'm an only child, so I can't compare myself to any siblings. I'm nothing like my dad. He's into sci-fi, irish music and Bigfoot (no, really!). I wonder if I had spent more time with him as a child if I'd share some of his interests. I don't know that it would've. I'm also nothing like my mom. She's into collectibles, reading (which I really wish I did more of) and history.

I don't feel like I belong in my family at times, but don't know where I belong. I often feel like I'm drifting through life on my own...as if I've been abandoned. Nine times out of ten, I'm the one calling my parents. They don't call me. I'm the one going to visit them...they don't come see me. I get tired of putting forth the effort, but feel obligated to do so. They're my family...my parents.

I was lucky enough to have a family 'adopt' me in Madison and invite me over for Thanksgiving and Easter meals. They made sure I had an extra hand if I needed anything. They invited me over for cookouts and made sure I was taken care of. I only hope I am lucky enough to find something similar in CA. A surrogate family, which at times, is better than the family life I have.