You're so transparent

have you ever met one of those people who asks how you're doing and you say 'fine!' and then they give you the look. You know, they twist their head a little, squint their eyes and look right at you and say, "Really?" And then you bust into tears? No? Maybe that's just me.

No tears today, but ran into one of 'those' people today. He's a vice-president in our office and I used to work for him. We never really were that close, but he has this amazing power to tell when people aren't telling the whole truth. Along with that is the power he has to get people to tell the truth. If he were to pull me into his office and shut the door, I think it would all come out. He's very much the father figure and deeply cares for everyone. He wants what's best for them and will be as truthful and encouraging as it gets at the same time. He's amazing and I admire him greatly.

There's another one of 'those' in my life who I haven't seen in a while. I think I've been avoiding him, and many others all together. He's one of my pastors, but is more like a big brother to me. He can take one look at me and call me on my B.S. that the rest of the world can't see through. It drives me nuts. Honestly, I haven't seen him since...before Christmas, maybe? I actually have only been to church twice since the new year. That's a whole other topic and post for another day. Not ready to tackle that one yet.

I haven't been very happy at work over the past 6 months, for many reasons, and I'm sure it shows as I've quit trying to cover it up. It takes too much energy. I can't do it anymore. I found out today that my boss is coming to town on Monday and Tuesday next week, to meet with me and so I can train him before I leave my job. Wednesday's my last day and a party is being planned (though I don't know that I want one). Anyways, I asked my friend coordinating to ask my boss about moving it to Tuesday so he can be there. He said there's more value in it being on my last day and that he wouldn't be able to stick around for it. That sums up most of my frustrations with him and my job over the past few months.

I'm debating sending him an email about how hurt I am (n-there I go being 'hurt' again! =P ) before he comes to town. Otherwise, it's all going to come out when we meet in person and I'd rather that not happen. I really feel underappreciated in my work, mostly by him, and really don't want to leave with a bad taste in my mouth. At the same time, I figure I'm leaving, so what's the big deal. I'm through with it, right?

I hate being so emotional about things like this. Wow--it just hit me! I really look up to him as my mentor (oh...here come the tears!) and it hurts to think that I'm not important enough for him to be involved in my party. He knows he's bad with recognition of things, but that doesn't mean it's OK. He should know better, right? I mean...I've worked for him for 4 years...longer than any other National Office staff has.

What do you think? Do I have a right to be upset or am I just being emotional? =(