Week 8: I can become stronger in asking for what I want without demand, manipulation, or expectation. As I remain respectful of the timing, wishes and limits of others, I can take no for an answer.
Here again, I'm a few weeks behind in posting from "Everyday Commitments" by David Richo. I decided to check out what was next in the book and the timing is great for this as I'm in negotiations again for the new job. I will know in just over a week if I have a job in CA and if I'm moving there.
When discussions came about a few months ago, I got very emotional about it. It was hard as I was making my own offer on salary and was getting an unofficial OK on it and then it was coming back lower. I took things very personally and ultimately ended up having to stop discussions about it as I was ready to give up on the idea all together.
This is a risk on both my partner's part and my part. Until we have money in the bank, it comes from his pocket, so he's not as willing to pay me a good salary. I don't think we're on the same page about vision for the organization and what's to come, which makes it difficult to agree to a good salary. Part of my salary involves commission, so to speak. I'm fine with that and like it, actually, but prefer to think of that as a bonus on top of what I need to live instead of a supplement for what I need to live.
I've compared what I'm making here (in WI) with what I should be making in CA and it's almost double what my partner is offering. Ouch! Even with the anticipated commission, it's still 6-10K+ lower than the comparable salary. See why it's risky for me?
So how does this all play into this week's commitment? I can be assertive without being aggressive in this discussion. I'm not making threats, but stating facts. The book says, "Aggression is the brand of control that makes our will more important than others' choices." My will is not more important than my partners' choice. We want to agree on this...we both want this to happen...but we both have to give a lot to meet on common ground.
Suggestions, dear readers, on how to stand firm and be assertive in negotiating. The comment box is open...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm here from mylablog and wow, did I need to hear what you're saying. Assertiveness without agression. I, too, am in a professional negotiation and can really learn from a few things you pointed out.
Congrats on the E for Excellence award, by the way!
Thanks Geggie and welcome. =)
Definitely check out the book Everyday Commitments. I've been working my way through it and posting each week about the new topic/chapter. It's been great to read and think about, but I probably need to do more to implement what I'm learning.
I'm a WIP (work in progress) as a friend told me the other day. Aren't we all, though? Aren't we all!
Post a Comment