Some things were stirred up yesterday that I need to deal with and I know that I've needed to face the issues for years. But I keep avoiding them. I really think I may need to see a therapist to work through because this is a whole issue bigger than I can tackle. But I don't have a need to do it right now as it pertains to something that's irrelevant in my life, sex.
As I sat in church, of all places, I began drafting the post about this in my head, which meant I was digging into the issues. And I had to stop. It was way too emotional for me. I could feel the tears coming.
To add to the emotional pain, I was sitting near the 'families with children' section at the back. That way they can sneak out if kids are crying, etc. I looked over and realized how long it's been since I've held a baby, how much I love it and then BAM--that I may never have kids of my own. Even now, that's a thought that's a little too hard to process. OK...changing subjects.
Let's see...we got more snow yesterday. But it was beautiful! Big, fluffy snow. Seriously, the flakes were almost quarter-inch. It was a whiteout at one point, which just made it more beautiful. I wanted to be covered in the snow and if I had had someone to play with, would've been outside in it...catching snowflakes on my tongue and letting them fall on my face. Amazing way to enjoy life. =)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You have taken a good first step. Starting to talk about it. More important, starting to write it down. There is a great power in the pen an paper.
Post a Comment