Back home...

I've been traveling since my last post. How foolish of me to think I'd blog while on the road. There's no way I could've done that as I look back on all that happened.

The first trip was business and was OK. It was a great opportunity to really put my 30-day challenge to work and I failed. The first night, a major party, I only wanted to talk to the people I knew and hang out with them. It was hard for me to really get out there and chat with new people. The more I think about it, the more I think part of it has to do with my lack of knowledge about the space I'm in. There's so much happening in this community and it's constantly changing. It's overwhelming, to be honest... And while we're being honest, I can also say I just am not interested in maintaining more and more contacts, names and 'friends'. That's the other part of not wanting to meet new people. My contact list is already so overwhelming.

The second trip was a little of business and a lot of pleasure, in more ways than one. Work part of the trip went well, though balancing time between work and fun is always hard when traveling. The people I visited are great. I needed to see them again as I'm always inspired by each of them. They're genuinely amazing people. We had lots of fun as a group...I always enjoy life more when I'm with them.

There were some shenanigans that happened that I wasn't expecting, at least not to the level we took it too. I think getting two people together who have been flirting long-distance for a few weeks could only mean trouble, but fun trouble. Or as he called it before I arrived, "beautiful disaster." It was definitely beautiful and not necessarily disaster, though not right either. Funny thing is, I don't regret it and am happy it happened. I care deeply for this guy and think he's amazing. If nothing comes from this...I'm OK with that. I actually am not expecting anything to come from this. If this same thing happened a few months ago, I'd be a freakin' wreck over-analyzing things right now. Maybe I needed this in order to move forward in my way of thinking about relationships and having fun.

I think I'm moving forward/growing up just a bit. There's much more to learn and I'm ready...